


The Summer and I

by ThePinkMug



Series: PersonaX [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Cheesy romance, F/M, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Frustration, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 10:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18826504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinkMug/pseuds/ThePinkMug
Summary: Shimamura went to Meiseki's Tanabata Festival alone and started re-thinking his desire towards Natsu.





	The Summer and I

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was made as a submission for a persona-based Role-playing group.

He wants her.

And he wants her in a lot of ways. First, of course, sexually. Heaven be damned if he ever denies this. Only two seasons have passed ever since their first meeting in the bookstore, then the dinner, then the night when he saw her asleep and defenceless. Here they are growing close while maintaining distance. Heaven be damned if he says that he never once think about those curves, her waist, and how it would feel to place his hands around her; heaven be damned if he says he still had his control when she let him came close and he could finally taste those fine lips and hear her paced breath on his ear, her whimper against his chest; heaven be damned and hell be purified if because of all that he says he did not punch the shower wall in deprivation and crave for her touch, and the mere imagination of her resting on her bed did not arouse him.

Now the empty yellow paper in his hand stays still; its blank pages stare back at him as if laughing at his state of limbo. He is sitting alone in a park bench just nearby bamboo trees where  _ tanabata _ wishes are tied and hung. She has her own date, so why did he still decided to stubbornly come here alone, looking like some pitiful, lonely man in desperate need for romance? To show everyone that he’s mad?

Or perhaps, he is. Second, he wants her romantically. There is this desire to meet just to see her eyes twinkling under the café’s dim light as they talk for hours about books, about her job, about her in general, for he thinks his story is a little too shameful. And, when she ate the soul of her own friend, was not his first instinct was to shield her from any danger she may stumble upon? When she’s around he’s not lonely and he has no nightmare, and when she saw his inked skin she did not look away, and in that instance, he was so overwhelmed with joy and relief, so much so that he must have gone haywire.

Third, he wants her all for himself. If any of the books he ever read ever say that men are selfish, then he is more than ready to admit the truth in it. But who is he dare to wish for her undivided attention and love? He thought he ought to let her go with a man younger, better than him, a man capable of providing, a man in his right head, for he thinks his inside is too ugly and too dirty to be worthy of any love at all. Yet he wished for it anyway. Even just for a little bit.

Come to think of it, he’s no longer in his 20s, but it sure feels like the second, or third puberty alright. It’s dizzying, it’s romantic, it’s overwhelming. It’s calming and frustrating. It gives him hope, it frightens him.

The man placed his head on the table; the warm summer breeze blew and tousled his bangs but he paid no heed. There’s no use denying it now. Even the little liar in him cannot come up with any excuse; Natsu is more than just another woman. 

Slowly he takes his pen and began writing, yet even as he writes, his hand was shaking and his heart was drumming hard. 

_ Natsu and I. _

He wrote. That’s it. That’s also fine, right? It’s not like anyone will read his wish out loud so just for this one time, he thought it’s perhaps okay to let himself be honest. Slowly he read what he wrote once again, then in a part frustration, part embarrassment the blond haired man brought his hand up to hide his face. God, even his ears are so hot. They must be beet red by now.

_ Fuck me, this is embarrassing _ .  _ How can I afford to see her later?! _  He thinks. 

But then the thought sinks in, again. Slowly his smile fades and he was taken in by the realisation that she is, in fact, is with someone else. There is no way, no way at all that anything between them can be real. Just like how it has always been, she will be better off with another man.

_ But eventually she’s gonna get married to someone else _ ,  _ and I will be alone again. _ He sighed _. How foolish of this man to ever think he’s ever wanted. _

So here is the mastermind behind several cases of missing soul, who also happens to be a mafia independent contractor, who also happens to be an expert in blackmailing, sitting by himself on a bench in a summer festival, aching in realisation that he is in love with a high school teacher and that he may lose her again. Perhaps it’s time for a few cans of beer, a sip of nicotine he hadn’t had for a long time, and a long sleep to forget the pain.


End file.
